How should Christians navigate disagreements?

February 27th, 2024
by Sean Gasperetti

If I had a dollar for every time I read the word "triggered" online...

It dawned on me recently - while I currently find my soul in a season of rest and joy in the Lord, there's a measure of fatigue that lingers under the surface due to all the "triggering" conversations I've had to navigate lately (perhaps it was that "Presidential Primary" ballot that just showed up in my mailbox that reminded me...).

We’ve all felt it over the last several years. Tensions are high, no matter the topic. Social media is a total dumpster fire most of the time. I often miss the days of debating whether the dress is white and gold or blue and black. #uselessmemes

In a world marked by competing beliefs and perspectives, we Christians also find ourselves engaging in discussions that sometimes lead to disagreements. However, what sets us apart (or perhaps, what should) is our commitment to navigating these differences with grace and humility.

In fact, this is one of the things I love about Reach - we're a diverse church filled with people with varying church backgrounds. Some of you grew up Baptist, others Pentecostal, some non-denominational, and several others quite "green" in your exposure to the Christian faith. Yet, here we are - worshipping together every Sunday. Studying God's word in the same rows. Breaking bread in homes. Sharing communion. Being the church.

To be sure, one of the things I believe makes us a healthy church is our ability to practice the art of disagreeing well within the community. In other words, it's our commitment to fostering unity amidst differing yet Biblically-based theological viewpoints.

However, for some of us, the ability to rest in the tension of disagreement doesn't come easily. It seems our culture has presented us with options: either we maintain peace at all costs (while running the risk of abandoning our core convictions) or declare that every theological hill we stand on is worth dying for (which often leads to elitism and disunity with any theological tribe that we slightly differ from).

Now, here's what I'm not saying - that any and every difference is in-bounds. There is a big, theological sandbox we find ourselves in called "Orthodoxy" (click for definition) which has some limitations. But what about differing viewpoints within that same sandbox? Examples: Wine or juice at communion? Is the earth young or old? Can women preach on Sunday or not? Is exegetical or topical preaching better? Is Bigfoot a descendant of the Nephilim giants in Genesis 6 or not? (JK).

You may have discussions like these, and rather than walking way feeling encouraged and strengthened by your spiritual sibling, you experienced a sense of anxiety, discouragement, and frustration. Perhaps we're ill-equipped to disagree well when it comes to our differences. But I believe we can do better.

So, how should Christians navigate disagreements, and do it well?

Dr. Gerry Breshears, a professor at Western Seminary (and Spiritual Father of sorts to the Reach family), has provided a helpful tool I believe we should all equip ourselves with. The alliteration is helpful:

"Die For, Divide For, Decide For, Debate For."

Here's how he defines each of these:

In navigating divisive issues, I have found it most helpful to distinguish levels of certainty. Then I can differentiate what is essential from that which is merely controversial. For me, this breaks down into four levels:

First are things I would “die for.” To deny them knowingly would demonstrate that you are outside the boundaries of gospel orthodoxy and perhaps not in living relationship with Jesus.

Second are things I would “divide for.” We are Christians, fellow members of the body of Christ, but we won’t be in the same local fellowship.

Third are things I would “debate for.” Here, we are in the same church but we will wrestle (sometimes heatedly) with these issues.

Fourth are things we “decide for.” These issues contribute to the rich diversity in the life of our church. Let’s discuss each in turn.

(Source Link: Western Seminary, Gerry Breshears)

Our tendency can be to push "decide for" and "debate for" issues to the top of the ladder, but more often, faithful Christianity looks like recognizing what is orthodoxy and pushing everything else down. In a world fraught with division, Christians have a distinct calling to navigate theological differences graciously while holding unwaveringly to the Gospel. It's not always easy, but Jesus never said it would be easy, and that's OK.

Part of "working out your own salvation with fear and trembling" (Phil 2:12) is learning to yield our opinions to the authority of Scripture while also recognizing not every secondary issue will be perfectly defined to our liking, whether in the Bible or in a given church context. When those moments come, keep the "4 D's" in mind.

I hope this helps. Grace and peace, friends.

If you'd like to learn more about "levels of certainty" and how to disagree well, here are a couple links from Dr. Breshears you might find helpful:

Also, you might wonder where Reach stands on various issues. Be sure to check these out as well:

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